1) There is an alarmingly high number of people who go mental right outside my office window. Usually toothless and/or homeless and shouting obscenities. Perhaps this is what I get for working next to the homeless shelter.
2) I will not find the concept of gazpacho alluring no matter how you try to spin it.
3) Coffee is better than a high five from Michael Phelps.
4) Sometimes the difference between the way I think I look and the reality that faces me in the mirror when I go to the bathroom is heart attack inducing. Especially after having watched a movie with a bunch of pretty people in it.
5) Women who look really good in monokinis have no soul. I've fact checked this one.
6) I thought all of my shows being over for the summer would free up more time for other things, but it turns out it just encourages me to watch previous seasons of random shows on Hulu and Netflix streaming.
7) This is hilarious. So is this.
8) Having now surpassed five, I feel compelled to carry on to ten.
9) The school zone light still blinks near my house even though school is out. This angers me. Twenty miles an hour is not a good speed to drive while angry. Highly dissatisfying.
10) I got to ten!
11) That last one was kind of lame, so you get a bonus one. I'm finding that being myself is both terrifying and rewarding. And involves lots of embarrassing pictures of me on people's iPhones.