Because I'm feeling random and grouchy today.
I got a fortune cookie yesterday with this fortune: "Old dreams never die; they just get filed away."
What the crap is that? It's not inspirational, it's not prophetic, it's not even funny. It's mainly sad with a side of bittersauce. And for the universe to send such a fortune to someone who's trying to be a WRITER? Not cool, universe. Not cool.
So I thought I would take this side of bittersauce and turn it into a whiskey sour! That has bitters in it, right? Whatever, insert whatever drink has bitters in it there, then. I figured I could top that fortune with even more passive-aggressively negative messaging. Feel free to contribute your own in the comments, I know you peeps are hilars.
You will find great love in the wrong place.
A great fortune will befall you. The IRS will get half.
You will look better today than you did yesterday.
Through failure you will find more failure.
Write fortune here.
Sigh, I clearly missed my calling.
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2 comments:
Yeah, I've noticed a rash of fortunes that are more like proverbs or adages. Where are the old standbys: "You will make a name for yourself," or "The coming year will bring you much happiness"?
How 'bout:
Your arrogance will get you in trouble some day.
Hold tight to your dreams. Soon they'll be your only source of happiness in an otherwise dreary existence.
Too dark? ;)
Uh, I laughed out loud at work when I read this. Definitely not too dark.
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