Although I should clarify that I do have a Twitter account, but only because someone many years ago made me feel like it was going to be the nextgreatawesomegmailthing and if I didn't get my name soon that I would have to be like JEMlovesvolleyballandgrillingandsometimessocks5489. So I made an account, but I don't actually use it. That would be uncouth.
Also: disclaimer. I have nothing against Twitter, nor against the people who use it. These are just my own personal feelings about my own potential Twitter usage. Tweet on, Twitter lovers!
1) I am totally not interesting enough to tweet things, even on a daily basis. Unless you want to know how often I get up at work to go pee or the amount of sandwiches I eat in a day.
2) I'm kind of like that old guy in Up about technology. Yes, I work with it for a living. Yes, I blog. Yes, I email. But I still sometimes get all "what's this newfangled tag thing?" and "why am I poking this person? it's obscene. in my day we asked a girl out to a nice steak dinner first."
3) I already
4) The instant gratification of Twitter gives me way too much leeway to say something really stupid that will be forever immortalized in internet databases everywhere. I really shouldn't be allowed out in public, but certainly not a public where I can write exactly what I'm thinking without any filtering.
5) I can't be contained to 140 characters. I don't care if concise writing would make me a better writer. If I have something important enough to say to put it on the internet, it's going to be longer than 140 characters. Trust me.